Love Vs. Like

Disclaimer: I am not a Psychologist or Spiritual Leader all thoughts and comments are those of my own observation and/or thought processes, not to change your mind but rather give you different perspectives.

“I love you, you love me We're a happy family With a great big hug And a kiss from me to you Won't you say you love me too?”

It’s the Barney song guys that has run rampant with the generations in the early 90’s and early 2000’s. You know it, it gets in your head and you can’t shake it and for reminding you of the song I’m sorry, give it a couple of hours it will wear off.

When we talk about these two four-letter words “Love” and “Like” there’s often a confusion of the two and sometimes they are used interchangeably. We have talked about this before, what is the book definition of love? They are both nouns and action verbs. Love is a strong affinity towards someone or something and Like is to take pleasure in having an attraction towards, an enjoyment. I think it’s safe to say that we are on the same page with the definitions.

The waters can get a little murky when it comes to the practice of both love and like most of us love our families and friends and some in adamant objects. We entertain relationships that lead to marriage because of love, when asked of a couple what is your number one reason for being with the person you chose, they will say because I love him or her. We obligate ourselves to being caregivers and nurturers, all in the name of love.

Notice I said “obligate”, you feel that, it’s the slight uneasiness with the word that made you squirm a little bit or made you look sideways at your screen. No one wants to feel obligated and when we are we feel more prone to give justifications as to the “why” we participate in given activities or why we are with some.

When you are obligated you use phrases like “well I only did it because I loved them” or “I stayed because I loved her.” Sometimes when people hear this from the place of “you only did it because you loved me” depending where you are in life as the recipient you don’t merely want someone doing something for you or with you out of obligation.

Here’s another word that makes you uncomfortable “tolerate” yep I said it. We tolerate certain behaviors and activities from those we love sometimes, and I know you don’t want someone with you just because he or she tolerates you. Family does it all the time they love but they tolerate your ways and habits why, because you are family.

Which leads us to our next four-letter word “like”. When was the last time you heard someone say well I only did it because I liked it? Like has the ability to make things feel fun and desired. When you hear a little child say, “I like that daddy” the heart of the daddy begins to leap, when someone comes and tells you they like your dress or your car it makes you feel like you made a good choice. It’s the proverbial “nod” to your decisions.

Like is what keeps me sitting chatting with a loved one, like is what keeps you playing a song repeatedly, like has the ability to make you feel wanted. When someone says, “I like you”, you already know that he or she made a choice to like you and it was not out of obligation.

I’m not saying love is better than like or vice versa, I want you to look at it differently. Love will wax and wane some day you feel like loving and other days you don’t but when you like someone or something you have deemed this person or object as something that brings you joy and not an obligation.

I submit to you love good and love hard but also learn to like, it will help you to keep people and things around more often and that my friend is food for thought.